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Cultural Healing and Life

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This is a biographical, artistic telling of how the inspiration and beginning of cultural healing and life happened.  This is written in a different perspective as Deborah died unexpectedly and it is simply easier for me to write in that manner as it does hurt but I desire to tell this.  The following is authentic and true.  The songs and videos have deep meaning and fit so well it is almost like it was designed for it.  

All respect to the artist as it is they that help add another layer that illustrates the emotion and feelings that is genuine for the illustration of how we were and I ask to please support the artist direct.  Cultural Healing and Life is not designed to make profit in any way nor will it as this site is a sacred working gift from the hearts of Jon and Deborah and we hope it becomes the entity of positive in some way or whatever it is is for you.  In that way, we all still live.  The advice of Deb would be to listen to the tree.  :spiritual-tree-smiley-emoticon:   ~JJ the gardener.

 

 

:Rainbow:

The story of Jon and Deb.

and the beginning of

Cultural Healing and Life!

 

The Strumbellas The Strumbellas - Long Road

Deborah's Back Story

Deborah started college in 1986 with four children. She graduated from Meramec Community College with History Honors and an A.A.  In 1988 she graduated from Fontbonne University with Dean’s List & Phi Lambda Theata and a 3.9 G.P.A

Her second marriage at the time disintegrated due to her husband attempting to utilize controlling religious views and practices which was driven to influence Deborah to quit college direction and to be become a specific type of house wife.

During this time Deborah's husband pledged to give the church Deborah's house which she had bought and had title. She corrected this in the church at the time.  The church then sided with Deborah's husband and attempted to talk her out of her continued education and personal to professional  betterment which thus caused her to leave the church and become shunned by virtually all associated with her and the church for her efforts.  She was abandoned without support (some limited support from mother and siblings) nor friends but she endured her and her children.

  • Deborah would remain true to her beliefs her entire life never turning away from God but she would not trust those of the cloth again.

Deborah worked as a secondary education teacher and was recognized and awarded for her teaching abilities during this time. While shes struggled for her education she did not allow the family and life struggles to diminish her.  It was in her nature to do the best she could as it was the only way she knew of doing something.

Later Deborah would meet and later marry a prestigious chemical engineer professor at the University of Delaware and she put the money down and made the payments on a new family home from the sale of her first house.  While they had no children of their own, her husband raised and cared for Deborah's children as if he was.  Most of their middle-school to high-school years were in this family dynamic.  They were a loving family.

While assisting her husband, Deborah wrote the grant that enabled the creation of the glue that was used to attach the tiles to the space shuttle. She also assisted in obtaining grants for the creation of a method to break down oil spilled in bodies of water.

  • She was specifically credited with enabling complex scientific terminology, scientific explanations and other confusing and complex aspects understandable to the governing bodies that awarded such grants.

  • It is in this skill that made her unique from other grant writers who often wrote in a certain style but was not as effective.

Deborah additionally worked as a substitute teacher but due to low pay for teachers at the time she found better economic employment with a law firm & after that law firm merged with another she found employment worked a surgical assistant for 5 and a half years.

In 1996 Deborah accepted an opportunity to work with a Delaware commission that catered to community needs and was the Executive Director for over 14 programs plus “Learn and Serve” which Deborah personally wrote the grant to bring the program into the State of Delaware.

  • Today the programs are still going strong with 21 programs statewide.

  • Jealously from a politician over Deborah's work (ordered to say the politician did the work and Deborah did not give in to this demand) forced Deborah out of the commission. (All internal documents of proof we have.)

Deborah, while studying and researching art became friends & Biographer for Allen Midgette who worked with Andy Warhol in the late 50’s and 60’s. Deborah also published a book, Allen Midgette Contemporary Artist and was a contributing author within other publishing's. She assisted Allen Midgette with various art grants and friendship and was friendly with many of the people in the shadow of Andy Warhol.  

During this time frame Deborah went to France to study art under Ultra Violet. Ultra Violet was also part of Andy Warhol’s entourage and muse of Salvador Dali. Deborah helped create art that sold for high financial figures at a show they did in France.

Deborah at this time had earned a master degree and was only a few credit hours from a PH.D. However the PH.D would not assist her professionally nor economically so she elected to not pursue that last collegiate degree.

Her marriage would not work out but it was no ones fault than life itself.  I will finish here with her words from a poem she wrote shortly before Jon and Deborah met and is reflective how she viewed the entirety of her life at the time.  She shared this poem with Jon as that he would better understand here better.

 

Prison of Iron

Unfetter my wild heart

Parched flames of desire

Ever glaring, midnight moonless, besieging walls,

Ever watching, lest the hell-chains slip

To lie silent on the frigid, footworn, stones,

Captive in this dismal cage,

Mute to the swell and fall of haunting desire,

Burrowed deep within my casket

Where burning love flickers to forget

All hope,

Realized, radiant love, shall it ever allude my touch?

Or shall I curse the day I was born in bondage

To relish fragrant apparitions

Of unrequited love.

Tuesday, July 8, 1997 – M. Deborah Beris

 

 

Jon's Back Story

Jon served honorably in the Air Force (before, during and after the first gulf war) and then went to work for the federal government working for the Defense Commissary Agency.  A grocery store for the military located at Bitburg AFB, Germany.

Jon was also good friends with Dee, an American business owner and friend who played a positive role in Jon's life when he was at his most down he almost made a foolish error and Dee overheard a stupid plan and he gave them the money to fix the situation.  Jon later went to repay Dee at another business he owned and they became friends for many years afterwards and Dee would be almost a father type of figure towards Jon at times.

  • Dee was caring and helpful to those who were good people and needed help and he often assisted those in need quietly and without always being asked.  This aspect of humanity would remain with Jon and play a larger role later in Jon's own life choices.

One night Jon's mother, whom he had a negative relationship with, called him and told him she was without food, couldn't pay the bills or wash herself (she had an accident and was incapable at the time) and that Jon's father was living somewhere else and the kids (Jon's sisters) were running wild.

Upon hearing this he said if this is true he will resign his job, leave his life in Germany and come home personally to take care of this. She said it was true and Jon followed through on his word.

Once Jon returned home he found these descriptions to be false and Jon left the family home and was going to return to Germany. However an Aunt talked him out of going back and Jon agreed to stay in USA due to the seemingly odd aspect that Jon did not call anyone in the family to verify which he normally would have done. So Jon just let it go as fate and did not return to Germany.

Jon filed for unemployment in Pennsylvania but he took a job the day the check came in and he never picked it up as he had a job working for a relative in a fair food business. After doing that for most of the season Jon took another fair job and traveled with a fair working a basketball game of skill for the rest of the season.

After the season Jon traveled to NewCastle, Delaware and stayed with his sister. During this time Jon went to check out a business and that is where Jon and Deb met.

 

Natia Tavartkiladze Natia Tavartkiladze  -  Sacred Spirit - Yeha Noha

 

Poem from Deborah written to Jon

The Way I love You

No one wil ever marvel you, as in

the way I love you.

 

Silken words you weave incisively

into the chasm,

that abysmal grotto

that is bent

on the annihilation

of my soul.

 

Your sovereign hand apprehend the

thief as you lead me to exodus.

 

In this way I love you,

for your gifted perception

in the way you counsel and guide me.


Yearning years, resigned

I waited for a man

to be equally united.

 

Impatient, obliging, never loyal

to my secret self,

I cheated myself until

now, when I feel the way I love you.

 

The impenetrable pass of my heart is

rent,

crushed

by your

strong nature I speak in your spectral eyes.

 

I love you in a way that no

other

will.

 

Completely

 

The way I love you.

Monday, June 15, 1998 – M. Deborah Beris

 

 

The start of Jon & Deb

Deborah and her husband would separate and divorce. Deborah left her husband and financial security to be with Jon. Their love was a powerful entity that could not be ignored by each other even though this was not the best moral choices to make due to Deborah being married.  Deborah left her marriage not due to Jon but due to their particular relationship issues.

  • Her husband at the time was a good man worthy of respect and other than her arm being hurt (She was harmed and had to wear a sling) as he grabbed her arm while she was leaving (not abusive but a genuine accident in an emotional moment not intended for injury) he was a correct man towards her.

Jon and Deborah would travel to Missouri for a short period of time while things settled down. A short period of time after Deborah returned to Delaware and later Jon joined.  

Soon after Jon came to live with Deborah, one of Deborah's sons attempted to murder Jon with a shotgun.  He spent time in Jail and would later make a good professional and financial life and start a family of his own.

  • This particular son of Deborah's would continue to attempt to attack Jon upon sight at all opportunities in life as of this writing. 

  • While he was in prison Jon cooked for and ensured his daughter was well cared for as her and the child's mother lived with them for a period of time.

  • Jon personally ensured she was cleaned from fleas which she was infested with. They did not make a big deal of it.

  • Jon and Deborah looked after (their grandchild) as they would any other.

    • Jon and Deborah would display her photos as she grew up and became an adult.  Jon would not see her again since the time she moved overseas with her mother who married a military man.  Jon kept up with her life from afar and via discussions with Deborah gave input with Deborah's spoken advice on subjects regarding her.

    • She is all grown up now but to Jon, she is still the little girl in his heart and is always welcome but he knows he will not see her again and his likely forgotten and/or misunderstood due to parental influences on the view towards Jon.

Deborah's youngest son had married and later they bought a house.  

  • Jon personally made the food for the wedding which was held at Jon and Deborah's home.  
  • Later when the couple bought a home Jon was asked to come and see the new house and Deborah's son who attacked Jon before came to the house (likely bad timing and not premeditated) and attempted to attack Jon but the son's wife or fiance stopped him and got him around the corner while Jon and Deborah left.
  • Jon would never return to the youngest son's home or any other home of his again.


:family-smiley-emoticon:

 

Work and Health

Jon and Deborah would work at Community Systems inc, which is a not for profit company that runs group homes for the mentally handicapped. Jon's health was bad and thus he was not able to consistently maintain a regular work week and is the start of some hard times health wise for Jon.

  • Jon and Deborah's work helped to transform the company which had been required to pass an accreditation due to issues with the state in poor past performance.

  • As a result of Jon and Deborah's work Community Systems Inc, would obtain its highest CARF rating on record for CARF for any organization at that point in time.

  • Community Systems Inc, would later betray Deborah and as a result Jon left Community Systems Inc in support of his wife.

Deborah left Community Systems Inc, and went to work for Delaware Cardiovascular. She was a vice president and responsible for all locations and personnel.

Jon and Deborah created a side business "M. Deborah Studios" which created personalized movies from pictures and existing videos.  They also made family orientated cook books and personal books for family members such as having their stories in a book for their family and similar special occasions.  They made unique personal and business media products.

  • Eventually this service would dramatically slow during an economic down turn as businesses no longer were making videos for their projects and family clients shrank due to technology coming to a threshold one could use a low cost application on a computer to create similar results.  
    • While not an equal in quality the price difference was too great to overcome.  In time they would close M. Deborah Studios. 

During this time the USS Cole, a navy destroyer was bombed and as the military brought back the dead servicemen to the mortuary at Dover AFB the military did not allow the media on the base to photograph so the media gathered around the fence by the road and this odd gathering distracted a driver who hit Deborah from behind.

  • Deborah's was visiting a new office location in Dover Delaware and a while sitting at a red light in front of Dover AFB she was hit from behind by a large truck and totaled Deborah's car and severely injured Deborah for which she would never fully recover.

  • Deborah did not sue the military as they did not want to do that but they ask their lawyer to discuss the issue with the base commander.  They do not know if such a discussion about the risks took place but years later the traffic pattern in front of the base were redone that would prevent that type of accident again.  This was likely an independent decision outside of the accident.

As a result of this accident and injury Deborah would suffer a broken neck and broken back at multiple points. Her initial doctor wanted to do immediate surgery. Deborah was adamant about no surgery due to a deep feeling against it and this started issues with doctors and with her insurance company which their was unprofessional and unethical behavior on both the doctor and insurance companies part.

  • Documents would later show the insurance company acted improperly from the moment of the accident and how they would interact with Deborah's doctors by attempting to dictate care per their interest and not a medically correct one.

Deborah would seek a second, third and fourth opinion but could never get two opinions that matched in reason but they did mostly recommend surgery but for different reasons.  

Eventually due to friend of friends connections Deborah was seen by the head of a department at a prestigious medical college. This doctor agreed with Deb's view and said not to do surgery and to use a stretch machine over time to help correct the issues.

  • This was the correct the treatment and she would become better for it but she had suffered physically, emotionally and financially for her efforts to be treated as a patient and not as product with the sole interest to obtain the highest insurance payments (the doctor.)

  • Deborah's doctor at the time would literally throw a fit about not going to his partner for a second opinion and later he would uncontrollably run around the room throwing a fit as if a child upon finding a differing opinion which came from the head of John Hopkins University for the department for which she was scene.

  • The insurance company accused her of pain pill abuse as she did not want the surgery, had a prestigious medical opinion to not do the surgery and her desire to correct the issue with the long term stretching. (She was later proved correct.)

    • Deborah's sons had tried to influence their mother in having the surgery siding with the doctors (without them even speaking to a doctor) advice, rather than the John Hopkins opinion, some of them pursued this discussion with her even when obtaining positive results from physical therapy.  

    • It was not the issue of disagreement but was the tone and belittlement she endured for which she would remain silently disappointed in that behavior in those who acted in such a way.

    • Jon told her it was because she was with him and that should expected similar behaviors and other passive aggressive emotions and actions as their disgust of Jon was translating inappropriately towards their mother.

    • She would endure this for the sake of being able to visit her grandchildren.

Deborah was in immense daily pain and agony and she developed RSD (Raynaud's disease) which would never leave her and she suffered daily for the rest of her life.

  • At the time RSD was not generally accepted in the medical community nor at the Christian Hospital in Delaware and many doctors would ignore her visible issue at the hospital forcing her to cruelly suffer far greater than necessary. This was action was similar to torture without merited justification.

The insurance company would call Deborah's doctors as she would find a new doctor after the last one threw a childish fit and they would tell them she had been abusing pills which was not true and not based any merited reasoning.

  • Jon and Deborah would have to go far into PA to find a pain management practice that would not bow down to the insurace companies tactics.

  • Eventually Deborah found a local doctor who would stand up to the insurance company and he would be a saviour for her.

    • Later the insurance company would pay for this abuse as Jon documented her suffering hours by hours and daily for many months and before walking into court the insurance agreed to their terms.

 

The Strumbellas  The Strumbellas - The Bird That Follows Me

 

Deborah suffers more bad health

Jon nursed Deb back to health and after years of physical therapy and as medically recommended from John Hopkins University they regained some level normality. Then shortly after finding a balance managing the injury with day to day living Deborah began to have issues with a hiatal hernia.

  • However, the hospital initially misread the hiatal hernia scan.

Deborah was consistently hospitalized for long periods of time due to extensive suffering.

  • The misreading of the initial hiatal hernia test was used by many doctors and thus they chose to diagnose incorrect and even accused Deborah of having health issues from being fat.

    • Deborah gained weight due to the hiatal hernia, naturally and otherwise she is and was slim with good health and this was ignored by the doctor. They fired a lot of doctors.

Eventually after many lengthy stays in the hospital in two states a doctor redid the test and it showed the hiatal hernia and it was very serious.

  • A re-look at the first test showed they misread it.

Deborah would go thru an operation to repair the hiatal hernia and during the operation the surgeon nicked her chest cavity. While Deborah was recovering in her hospital room within a few days of the operation an infection took hold but was not recognized by the hospital.

Deborah called Jon in a great amount of pain and told him that she complained of extreme pain to the nurse and the nurse came and closed the door as if she was a problem patient.

  • While on the phone she stood up and a splashing sound was heard by Jon. This sound was Deborah's chest and it rotted and fell on the floor.

Deborah was placed in intensive care and the head doctor watched her as she had a breathing mask on but might need a bigger mask but he did not think she would survive putting it on so if needed he wanted to make the call for the best time if needed. He watched her all night.

  • During this time Deborah would say she was visited by an old sea captain who told her it was not her time yet and she started to get better.

Deborah would go on to have a mesh abdomen that would slowly heal. She would suffer intense pain and nausea for the rest of her life.

  • They did not sue anyone as the doctor who saved her and did the best care possible after the accidental nick of the abdomen so we let it go as her being alive when she easily would not have been was enough for them. The injury was an accident and not negligence.

Very few people would do this as they had a potential law suite with negligence and with pain and suffering could of ended with substantial financial ruling but ethically they could not do that and have to go after those who saved Deborah life.  Sometimes life is hard and it speaks for the measure of a person when they make such during times of hard.

Some would say it was a stupid decision to not sue especially as later in life financially they would suffer but it was an ethical and moral question to Deborah and they would do what the could to get through life and keep their ethics and morals regardless of ones opinion on the subject.  No matter the financial position later in life, this choice was never second guessed by Deborah and Jon.  

  • This horrific situation physically affected Deborah but it did not change who she was.

 

Finding employment with medical issues

As a result of all their medical expenses and lack of regular income Deborah had tapped her retirement funds while a several years search for employment commenced.

  • Deborah would consistently make it the last round of interviews but she was always second to getting hired.  Her health issues and age was typically the problematic issue.  This went on for several years.

She eventually took a position with a staffing agency to work at a prestigious patent law firm in a nearby city.  They would soon fire her as soon as she started having health issues but they said she made a bad choice for a trivial thing.  Karma has said hello to them I am sure.

Later she would find a job at a chiropractic office and she would not last long as the office manager was threatened by Deborah's qualifications compared to hers.  Deborah had no interest in the office managers Job.   

 

The School of Life The School of Life  - Resilience In Hard Times

Student Loans

Deborah would take a job with student loan processing company as they hired a group of disabled people in essence to illustrate that they are a good business entity who hires disabled people too.

  • Deborah hated the aspect of the Job where people abuse and say hurtful and demeaning things to the collectors.
    • She grew a thick skin and this is part of being a collector for student loans.
  • Deborah was consistently at the top ratings for collectors and regularly rewarded.
    • She viewed her Job as helping borrowers and not "just" as collectors.
    • She would look correctly at the borrowers finances and put in a realistic reduction request as to bring the borrower back into good standing and be a realistic adjustment.
      • This is why she did that job until she passed.  She cared for those people who truly wanted to do right but were in a financial position that it was not possible to honor earlier agreements that in truth, few understood correctly when they signed.

Deborah would work their until they split into two companies.

  • She would work with the one split company for many years but they would eventually fire her due to her health issues but before they could even file a legal/civil action Deborah was hired at the other split company.
  • She would work their until she passed away bringing relief to many borrowers.
    • Almost daily she would come home and tell Jon about the people she helped by getting their interest rates reduced, how they cried and so very thankful as we are talking a significant amount of money on the part of the borrower.
    • She was grateful she was able to help in such ways but she was also harassed by some of her managers from time to time as they prefer quick collections rather than longer time consuming rate reductions.  
    • The collecting system is managed in a way it punishes collectors for doing rate reductions and/or they do not approve it for a variety of reason and on the collectors.  
      • Deborah's has been scolded by low level managers for doing so many rate reductions but the superiors were always supportive but it is the managers reacting to pressures and not being effective managers. 
      • Deborah could not be bullied or intimated so she could stand up to inappropriate management, few others can.
  • Deborah enjoyed working with the people at the company but specifically the ability to help others and she also assisted her fellow collectors in being better and correct collectors.  
    • Deborah was famous for bringing in her coleslaw and Jon's chili.
    • While she hated going in the morning due to knowing all the problem she was going to face she enjoyed coming home to Jon and her cats and telling of her day in which she performed financial miracles in loan rate reductions on a virtual daily basis.  
    • She was proud of that and so was Jon and the cats!

 

The medicinal beginning.

Jeremy Jensen  Jeremy Jensen - Rising Appalachia- Medicine

 

Jon's health was also not good at most times from diverticulitis but he also suffered from a type of condition from having too many concussions and this mimicked amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).  When Jon would have issues from this Deborah would make a special tea for Jon when he would have stress issues and to help his kidneys function.  

  • Deborah combined over 70 ingredients and consulted with many herbalist and oriental medicine practitioners.  She spent many hours at libraries and in consultation on this tea.  It is referred to as stress tea or a stronger version called pissing tea.

When these health issues were at their worst Jon could not get out of bed and he was in immense pain. Pain medication does not agree with Jon and he would become forcefully ill with nausea and thus pain medication generally makes a situation worse than help.

Deborah one day came to Jon with an old wooden pipe and being unknown to Jon she had grown a cannabis plant with the hopes it would help Jon, at this time cannabis was not a part of their lives but Deborah being desperate to help her husband took an action out of desperation.  An action to assist in relieving the suffering of a loved one.  In that perspective, this was not a wrong act. 

Add on the experience and emotion of watching Jon deteriorate and suffer greatly one should be able to understand how such an act by a desperate and caring person happened.  She did what she did out of love and caring for her husband as she could see that Jon could not find relief in traditional medicine.

  • For Jon, it was a great act! This aspect of caring would later play a large role with Jon and cannabis.

The use of cannabis did help and as Jon regained his health he took over growing the plant. Jon's condition made him not able to endure regular daily physical stress and simply walking around at the house would cause Jon to violently gag. He also suffered very painful leg cramps on a daily basis

  • He was stuck in a cycle of regaining and diminishing in strength and just going up and down some stairs could cause a gagging attack that would force Jon to be bedridden for a day or two and if stress was not reduced he would worsen and lose the ability to walk or he would walk like an old person all bent over.

The medical use of cannabis helped Jon obtain a degree of stability by managing his nausea and he slowly regained more endurance and better health over time and it is Jon's view that cannabis did play a significant role in enabling Jon to be able to endure the daily routine of life so that his health could begin to improve.

  • This aspect of cannabis would later play a significant role in the future of Jon and cannabis.

 

Vaporizers for the sick and terminal

Jon was a non tobacco smoker and thus the traditional means of smoking was difficult for Jon's lungs to manage on a regular basis so he looked into other methods of taking cannabis and found the early workings of the vaporizer industry. For a time Jon would speak at an online forum for vaporizers when their was no such thing at the time.

  • Jon helped promote and played a small role in the new industry by talking on vaporizers online and in person often introducing vaporizers for the first time in talks with people who had terminal and significant health conditions within the state Jon resided.
  • No cannabis was used or given during these talks, it was about the vaporizer as means of intake being cleaner than smoking it.

Later due to Jon's work within the vaporizer industry, vaporizer companies would sometimes send Jon vaporizers to review and he would often be allowed to loan and/or gift those vaporizers to a suffering or terminally ill person for their use. Jon only supplied the vaporizer and instructions on how to use it at this time.

While people may have varied opinions on doing such a thing. A significant benefit was that the terminally ill person could gain a period of quality time with their loved ones and have good end of life type of conversations where as when they were on the narcotic heavy pill medications the effects of those options created a state where the person was not suffering but was largely removed from such interactions due to drowsiness, nausea and/or inability to coherently interact.

Another benefit was often that a family discussion would revolve around the suffering aspects of the patient (stated for illustration of person in conversation) and not the quality type of discussions either participant wanted.

  • In perspective, when people were on the pills people they had less endurance for company and to participate fruitfully in deeper discussions compared to cannabis use in my experience and view based from discussions with the suffering persons family members.

This aspect and the other experiences with cannabis would play a further and significant role in the life of Jon and cannabis.

 

Easy Eye Sound Easy Eye Sound - Dan Auerbach - Shine On Me

The Crime

At this time Jon medically took care of himself but in time people who knew Jon and Deborah the closest would at times discuss their health issues and at times included the topic of cannabis.  

  • No one knew of Jon's medication at that time.  

During certain discussions Jon and Deborah might talk on their experiences with the plant and sometimes a small gift was given and depending on the effectiveness of that small gift it would potentially be a one and done interaction or become a regular medical usage depending on the effectiveness and situation.  Each situation was different.

  • By gift, it was a gift and no money or compensation in anyway was accepted during this time.  This all combined at this time was a small amount and it did not yet take away from what was already being made for Jon's medicine.
    • This would soon change.

These people were truly injured, sick and terminal and suffering.  This was not used for recreational enjoyment.  They found hope and relief via Jon's work and he could appreciate suffering and not being able to find relief from the traditional pharmaceutical pain and symptom relief options by main stream medicine.  

Helping people in this way, as Jon would say is "the pat on the back I take" "as they cant take that (the benefit they helped make) away"  Life sort of made them victim of circumstance and their own ethical and moral views and emotions perhaps, but they were not criminals.

They cared for whom they helped as it was the suffering that was their concern more so than repercussions when they were faced with these life choices.  It is easy to judge off the cuff so to speak but it is another thing to be in those shoes and face such needs for help when you have the unique ability to help.  

For Jon and Deborah, their was no question but a dread they did have in knowing they now become something else.  While it seems they made a choice, for them it was merely being true to their ethics and morals they live by and thus this never was a choice but more of a path that life placed before them with no other direction to take.

  • Jon and Deborah made a decision to take a direct action to help based on not just the need of the individuals, their closeness to Jon and Deborah but also because they have seen true benefits from cannabis not by opinion but by experience and most importantly how effective the medicine helped them. 

To some this was a crime, to others they were seen as blessings from god doing what no other people could do for them.  To their country and state, they were essentially an enemy due to laws that helped create the situation enabling the real suffering by cannabis being an illegal commodity, at the time.

At the time the state Jon and Deborah lived in and for the people they assisted did allow medical cannabis but only from state sponsored dispensaries (not effective solution for a variety of reasons) but the high pricing and difficulty in finding quality doctors who cared for their patients who would risk prescribing it as cannabis was still not a mainstream option accepted yet across the medical industry.

  • The combination was an effective barrier for those Jon helped in receiving help from the "legally controlled system."  In addition, many of these people would not easily know how to obtain street cannabis or from a traditional illegal source as the risk of them become victims increases.
  • I am not speaking for or against aspects, I am just stating the perspective as it was and perhaps still is as they seen it.

Jon and Deborah stood up when they were needed and called upon.  

  • No regrets except for the fact the situation was needed in the first place and this fault is with the medical and legal views which often are incorrectly influenced and in that is the cause of this unnecessary suffering.  This is not pointed out as a justification or an excuse but an illustration of fact.  
  • It is up to each person to weigh that themselves.

 

.The Revivalists The Revivalists - The Revivalists | "Men Amongst Mountains" | Live Session

 

Expansion & Finances

As time progressed more people came to Jon and Deborah and the need grew bigger than what was currently grown became an issue.  As a result Jon learned about growing indoors in a serious horticultural direction becoming knowledged in growing environments, lighting, plant physiology, plant nutrition and many horticulture aspects of plants.

Jon in his youth did yard work for a lady who was a serious horticultural hobbyist and had high value and award winning plants in her backyard that people would travel and see yearly. Through her Jon was introduced to growing plants and in a quality way. The foundation of learning horticulture for Jon was due to her teachings and influence.

  • Years later after she passed away a lawyer would buy her house and make a parking lot in her garden. I am confident he had no idea. I would beleive it the place is haunted!

Jon and Deborah understood the need was increasing but they did not want to ramp up production quickly as they wanted to ensure the highest quality genuinely as this is medicine and not a ramping up yield for a profit.

  • Special considerations were taken to maintain purity of plant and grow as natural as possible. Jon gained knowledge and become proficient in hydroponics of various types and growing in soil-less and soil mediums.

  • Jon is learn-id in natural farming and some permaculture aspects and techniques but would be considered a serious student over all.

  • Jon is learn-id in pest and disease management without chemical pesticides and natural farming friendly techniques.

They would then take this knowledge and apply it as they ramped up to meet the needs. These are not things a for profit enterprise would do.

During the time Jon had diverticulitis he also grew seedless tomatoes and would give anyone who had diverticulitis and could not eat seeds free seedless tomatoes when he had available.

  • Jon became sort of famous for this for awhile and was once mentioned in a Burpee catalog for seedless tomato seeds.

During this time they assisted in the managing of the suffering from cancer of all types, aids, lung issues, the occasional injury and the unfortunate terminally ill. The benefit that they obtained from the Jon's work was precious to them and it was sacred to Jon and Deb.  

  • It is odd that such a thing can be looked down on.  In that moment they would feel freedom fleeting as such a thing should not be need to be hidden.

It is understandable that people would think they did this for money as Jon and Deb had significant financial problems but did not use the cannabis for profit. They also paid tax on it as an extra business on their taxes.

The following list some aspects of their financial situation.

  • No large screen TV's
  • No fancy anything,

  • Literally a leaking roof into the living room.

  • The driveway needed immediate concrete repair.

  • No vacation trips with expense.

  • Credit card debt mostly due to paying bills from loss of work.

  • The people they were helping were poor and often elderly on fixed incomes.

  • Virtually a true and genuine not for profit enterprise.

Deborah worked hard every day that she could but her health began to diminish and they were talking about Deborah going on disability as she could not maintain two work weeks in a row without having to call off due to illness.  Then June came.

 

June and the end of an era.

In early June, Jon and Deborah was invited to Tennessee to visit an old military friend of Jon's who bought some land.  Deborah was feeling well enough to but could not attend due to not having available vacation days from using sick days due to her instability health wise.  As a result Deborah did not go but she was excited for Jon to be able to see his old friend.

  • A few days before Jon returned home Deborah passed away.  

~A song selected as how Jon and Deb saw one another.

my music my music - Grace VanderWaal - Beautiful Thing (With Lyrics)

 

It is believed at this time that she did not test her blood sugar and took too high a dose of insulin and she went into a diabetic coma and then she passed away.

No one but Deborah knew that Jon was on a trip.  In part as Jon is a very private person who did not even use a cell phone and that he does not regularly talk with others than Deborah.  However, an uncle was informed of Deborah's passing and thought he might pass on the information to a friend of Jon's that he once met and they exchanged contact information.  By chance that is where Jon was, with that friend.

Jon was informed a few days after Deborah's passing.  In part because that no one knew other than Deborah where I was but their was phone records of Jon talking to Deborah from his friends phone from Tennessee and the return plane information was in her purse and on the table by her purse.  It was clear where Jon was but this information was ignored.

The message to Jon was that Deb died and the police want to speak with him regarding it as would be normal.  Jon calls the detective and tells him where he is and that he will visit the police station on his way home.  Jon also talks about the cats but no one knows anything about the cats, Jon asks the detective to help determine if they are left alone or if they are in an animal control shelter and Jon did not want a situation to get worse by having the animals put down.

  • The cats would later be found in the house and not well cared for.  Deborah's kids put down a lot of food but never changed the cat box nor respected the animals in a manner as she would of have expected.  In this, Deborah would also be genuinely disappointed in them. 

Jon was able to contact his lawn guy to pick him up at the airport and then they went to Jon's home where Jon confirmed that law enforcement knew of the medical grow operation.  Jon then went and turned himself in.  He would be out within a few hours as the police understood the situation correctly.

Jon turned himself in to the Newark police department and was charged with possession of a controlled substance in Tier 5 quantity, second-degree conspiracy and possession of marijuana-related drug paraphernalia. 

  • These charges were on the day Deb passed.  

 

One Drop Forward - Take my Ganja Away

 

The police department were for their part respectful and professional.  They understood the situation and genuinely assisted with the painful process of dealing with the law enforcement side of the issue.  This was a welcome surprise and Newark, Delaware police department has Jon's respect and appreciation for the way the whole situation was handled.

Additionally the district attorney is be mentioned and thanked as they did their job correctly and saw the situation what it was rather than to go for a hard prosecution.  A competent and correct process was followed with a correct outcome that is satisfactory to both parties.

Jon would receive no jail time and he will enter the veteran treatment court sometime in January 2018.  This is a two year program.

 

:family-picture-smiley-emoticon:

Deborah's kids however would unifying act in many incorrect ways towards Jon at this point in time and this was a shocking surprise how they all treated and acted towards him.  

  • Jon and the son who was over the estate would later work out an understanding.
  • If it would of been appreciated how they have acted it is not believed Deborah would of managed her final affairs the way she did.

The following is some but not all the things they did.

  • Her kids tried to prevent Jon from learning where Deborah's body was.
    • Jon had to shame one of the son's in front of a police officer in order to finally get the mortuary and the time.  Initially they only said it would be in the paper tomorrow and that is how they wanted Jon to know.
    • Jon was told that he was not wanted and if he came their would be problems.
    • He was told he was no longer part of the family with hate filled adjectives.
  • Jon said he was coming no matter what and that he did not come back and turn him self in and not see her.  He did everything for Deborah and he was going to see his wife one last time. 
    • They said they would try to have her cremated that night to prevent Jon from seeing her and they were not going to show the body anyways and would just be ceremonial.  
  • Jon gave a speech and at the end of that speech one son did the right thing and went to talk to the others and they arranged for him to have a private moment several hours after the scheduled time long after everyone else would be gone at the literal end of the day.
    • Jon expected to find a locked and closed funeral home but they did keep their word.
      • By them doing this they stole from their mother's voice at the end.  
        • Only Jon knew Deborah so close and more of her life as a whole.  Jon lived with Deb longer than any other person in her life including each of their children.  She was very proud of that and would say it often!
      • By preventing Jon from being able to speak at her funeral by not making it possible for him to be their to do that, they hurt her and her memory for what is real of her and she was far more grande than just a loving mother.  They have no idea who their mother truly was and she was glorious in many ways.  
      • The kids diminished her biography, history and what she was purposely due to their hate towards Jon.
      • These insults are stated not as a shame to her children but as a lesson and illustration of what not to do for those who may read this.  Enough pain, please..  
  • Jon did not see it but he was told by two people who took him to the funeral home that he was mocked as he wept over his wife.
    • Jon was told specifically non of them would be their but all but one was and no one said a word nor illustrated any other reason for being their other to notice and watch Jon.
    • It is not so much the insult to Jon that hurt Jon but the insult towards their mother.  It is hard to understand how people can profess their love for an individual but then have such hate towards what they loved and cherished.  
  • Many things from the house was missing, destroyed and damaged as the kids had three days in house prior to Jon getting home.  
    • It was ransacked via drawers, cabinets and belongings of value and it appears some tried to hide some things from others but that Jon's returned thwarted the theft as some vases that packaged and wrapped and hidden under a sofa and these vases were normally disp.  Not really from Jon but from the other siblings.  A list of these findings was left for the son who is over the will.
  • A will exist because Jon insisted.
    • Jon is not in the will per his wishes.
    • Jon insisted Deborah put her kids as beneficiary for life insurance.  She originally wanted to put only Jon.
      • When they agreed to be a couple Jon said he was with Deborah for her and not her stuff.  He meant this even at cost to his own financial betterment. 

Jon left everything other than what was from their time together and due to their financial status at the time of Debs passing and after the insults and hurtful and attempted emotional inflicting actions Jon suffered by her kids he left with only the bed, couch, tv, computer, some paintings, the chair she died in, a microwave, refrigerator, as many personal pieces of Deb as Jon could get and that was not destroyed or already stolen by some of her kids and not one penny.

  • All Jon asked for was the will "they stole from the house before Jon returned" and a copy of the death certificate for closure.  To this date this has not been honored.

Jon has done what the family wanted and left.  He is no longer part of their lives and the loss of two grandsons who were treated as such since they day they were born are now gone from his life.  Jon still views himself as their pap, pap but he knows he is no longer welcome nor wanted, as the parents were very clear.  My door, support and heart is always open to those kids.

  • The family business was only discussed not as a shame to her children but as a lesson and illustration of what not to do for those who may read this and find themselves one day in such situations.  
    • Stand up and stop the progression of pain during painful family situations in life.  Then perhaps healing can begin in its slow but forward direction.  

After all that has happened to Jon, he lost his wife, his grandsons, his way of life, his home and virtually everything but some clothes and memories it should be understood that while he is devastated Jon is still the same old happy guy as no situation or hardship will change his soul and energies.  

He has no hate and perhaps is more Buddha in these moments than anything else.  Nothing will change Jon, but he does suffer the passing of his wife and the end of an era and the greatest woman he ever knew.  Other than writing for cultural healing and life it is unsure what awaits Jon but he does not worry as he knows what ever happens he will do his best and he is a happy soul.  

 

Easy Eye Sound Easy Eye Sound - Dan Auerbach - King Of A One Horse Town

 

Cultural Healing and Life Begins.

The last gift Deborah bought was a lifetime membership to the us press association as we were about to build this site together, Cultural Healing and Life.  Now it is her spirit with me and all those who choose be part of the community that will carry it forward.

Cultural Healing and Life is not about cannabis.  It is not about Jon and Deborah and they never thought of ever having to really talk on themselves as it has been now.  

This is intended to be a source to promote genuinely healing about any topic of reason.  This is about betterment and certainly it is obviously a more grande idea kind of thing than what we likely create or inspire but it is in the spirit and energy of that and perhaps that will have some kind of a positive effect even if we would fail in one fashion or another.  This enterprise is more fate like than anything else for Jon.  

  • It is almost like he is watching this happen.

This is not a fast endeavor and will take years to build and for it take on its own life other than what we think it will be but in the end I have no idea if this is anything more than a hobby for a guy who talks to much but we hope to make a difference in betterment in some degree.  

Cultural Healing and Life has no hate towards anyone.  We have told our story as to allow you to know who we are and why.  We are about learning, understanding, appreciating, caring, healing and living a free and joyous life and it is in that we can find a healthy love of life for ourselves and perhaps a caring existence for all peoples.  

Jon & Deborah and cultural healing and life hope you join us.  It is not about what one brings to the table but that they care and/or have a need.  All genuine people are welcome and wanted.  No matter how little one might think their contribution might be to a subject.  That perspective, view, understanding or what ever it is can and will help others.  In that, your contributions are sacred no matter how small one might view it themselves.  It is our belief, knowledge should not just simply flow but also be free and we genuinely offer you our sincerest appreciation for sharing with us.

Deborah's greatest gift to Jon was that he once only cared about him and her and basically shunned the world.  Today, he cares for all and it is in that energy that I close with this and open cultural healing and life.  

 

I eternally thank you my loving wife!

Claire Macdonald - Killard House Special School choir singing Hallelujah

 

 

:58db4604c56e6_globewithlife:

                ~JJ the Gardner, :spiritual-tree-smiley-emoticon: Cultural Healing and Life

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Very soon I will be in the right mind and do it.  It is a great biography.  Might be hard to believe but is true.

Making progress.  Today is the one month mark since she passed.  today is July 20th.

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I very much appreciate that.  It was an honor

I consider it done now.  I am sure I have a ton of edits grammatically and such but substance I think I got it all down.

We were great together and will still be so spirit, energy and all that she melded into me.  

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